October is not feeling very Fall-ish so far....last week we had a whole string of days over 100 degrees. Even me, the person who loves it pretty warm & sunny, am over it. I think I may be actually ready for a change of climate. We'll see. The husband & I, are in talks about him looking for a job this Spring, & moving hopefully in Summer, to the Denver area. So at first it was Oregon that was on my radar to move to, because of the greenery. But I know my little head, just can't handle the grey & the rain. So then I was onto Santa Fe, New Mexico. It looks like an awesome place for artists, but I don't know what Richard would do with his time....not too many tech jobs. Maybe take up wood working or something? I've also perused Austin, TX. area in my research. But for so many reasons I am drawn to Colorado. Love the mountains, the open land, the cool downtown areas....& it's pretty darn sunny. Cold, but sunny.
I'm kind of afraid though. I try to be a person that does things that scare me in life, I force myself to do the uncomfortable sometimes. But really so much scares me. Moving away from absolutely everyone I know, sounds like an adventure, but scary as hell. But being stagnant is not a good alternative.
I've been thinking about all these things a lot. I constantly think about life, am I doing the the right things, making a difference? Am I wasting mine? Is this decision right, or that one? Does it even matter? I kind of drive myself crazy thinking, & then I usually get to the point where I say fuck it. Very inspirational thought process, don't you think?
So making a big move is on my brain(maybe it's my escape plan)....& just contemplating life, as usual. By the way, side note here, people who think they have it all figured out(have you met a few? they have the answers for everything) ....I don't get them. How do you not question, ponder, mull over things? It's a great big world out there, I have so little worked out.
Here are some of our Fall pics taken in the glorious Southern California heat. Also, a little clay girl I made for Day of the Dead. I need to get on it & make some more Halloween/Day of the Dead art....haven't had much time to devote to art lately :(
Last time I wrote, I was lamenting over my empty house, with the kids back to school & all, & what I thought was what sure to be to a season of going somewhat stir-crazy, if I didn't find something to fill my hours. Not saying that people that stay home to take care of their house & all the many, many things to get done in a day, don't have a calling, but domestic goddess I have never been.
Soooooo, I ended up getting hired for a position that I actually wanted, in a class with kids that need extra help in their subjects. I thought the job was gone, because after I had gone through the testing, the finger printing process, etc. to get the job, the the listing wasn't there anymore. Anyway, long story short is that it all worked out, & I've now been working for 2 weeks.
Crazy part here, oh the irony...I have 3 different sessions in each day of helping kids with Math. Something never in a million years would I think I would be doing, or want to do. God has a sense of humor, I'm sure. He allows me to have this great job, where I feel productive, like I have a purpose. Great hours, a little under 4 hours each day. I am done by lunchtime. The only kicker is, I am wrestling with Algebra. Something I've never really had a grasp on. So each evening is spent doing a cram session of the next days equations we have to tackle. My secret fear is that the kids will come in needing help with something entirely different than what I tried to cram in my brain the night before, & I will be totally stumped as to how to explain it. Ha ha, it's then I'll be revealed as a Math fraud.
It's a growing thing, there's a lesson or two here. One of the things so far for me has been just to remember to focus on the positive. There is a reason I have this job, at this place & time. I don't have to be perfect at it, & have it all figured out(that's a daily thing I need reminding of). I sometimes let myself get bogged down in all the negative, because I feel overwhelmed. There are so many good things about it though, so I want to focus on that.
The cool thing about my hours too, is that I have time for other things I love. I'm home when my kids get out of school, I'm able to squeeze in time to do my art, & all my other things without feeling too time crunched.
Below are some pictures of some recent art I've made. I've been back working with polymer clay lately, & haven't done much with paper clay lately. Soon I will.
This felt like the officially shortest Summer ever. Never have the kids been back in school on August 31st, & they are today...this house is so quiet!
It's so weird, my youngest (my boy), is in school all day this year too. I've already cleaned my house a little, just a little pinch, don't want to get too crazy with it :) I've read, I've perused the internet, I may mosey on out to get myself some lunch in awhile. This is why I need a job, I'm going to be totally loco with a few days of this leisurely quietness!!
Well, it may have been a shorter Summer than normal, but it was crammed full. So many adventures, I was grateful to get a chance to do. Oregon, Washington, San Francisco, Mammoth.
We even got in a few beach trips to close out the Summer right :)
