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Monday, August 4, 2014

Apologetic Artist

It hasn't been until the last couple of years, that when people have asked me what I do, I answer that I am an artist.  I think I felt there would be expectations about my own talent, if I claimed it.  Like I would need to whip up something Renoir worthy on the spot, which sadly I don't see happening.  I don't make the kind of art with soothing pastoral scenes, or beautiful bronze sculptures either. I am a little bit all over the place & I like that, it fits my personality.  So now when the question is asked,  I somewhat confidently reply(with a little gulp)..."I'm an artist".   Then I wait for the follow up....oh, what kind of art do you make?  Are you a painter?

"Well, kind of", I might say.  Then I find myself searching for the words to describe my art, & I throw something out about mixed media, collage, working with clay.  Maybe mentioning the word quirky. Trying to tell them it's a little different,  almost apologetically, expecting it not to fit in their tidy little box of what they think art is.  I don't have a thick skin. I sometimes like to play the part & puff myself up.  Pretending I do in front of others, but really everything is barely just under the surface.  So I guess I am fearing some kind of hurtful comment, most likely thrown out unintentionally, but something I would take to heart nonetheless.

I am getting more bold though, I'm making progress.  In my soul, I am an artist.  This is what makes me happy, this is what makes me tick.  I'm working on just putting myself out there.  Knowing that I love what I do, & that other people's feedback good or bad doesn't make or break me.

Haven't done embroidery in so was fun to switch it up a bit & make this girl.
I really love the colorful material I found for the background.  Her face is painted onto fabric & she is in a 10 inch hoop.

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