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Thursday, December 29, 2016

Year End

Christmas was pretty calm & peaceful.  We had absolutely no place to go this year.  So the kids got to tinker with their new toys all day, which was nice.  I say this every year, but it's always over so fast!  Now we are headed towards the New Year in a couple days.  I've been thinking about what things I want more of, & what things I want less of in my life for 2017.  What things I want to try(weaving on a loom, hiking the high peaks around here). Which races I'd like to sign up for.  Much thinking.

In this new year I hope to continue to seek out cool people whom I can connect with.  I know I'm not good at shallow friendships, it's such a waste to me.  I just want to be with people more & more who are okay with putting themselves out there.  It's a little discouraging when you share deep things with people & it's not reciprocated.  Luckily that doesn't happen all the time, or with everyone.  Just wanting to spend more time with people who get it, I guess.

Also, I plan on continuing to work on all my mixed thoughts about my relationship with God & His followers :) And as always....working on my self & my lovely array of issues.  Hoping 2017 is a productive year!

Christmas Day
Christmas loot & family
Running in Boulder Canyon
Partially frozen Boulder Creek

Rabbit Mountain Hike


Boulder Creek duck friends
Love this wall in Boulder

Monday, December 19, 2016

Church People & Other Musings

Here I sit, thankful for my 2 weeks off.  The three kiddos are outside loving the snow.  I prefer to enjoy it from indoors.  

I keep thinking I really need to go outside & exercise.  I'm trying to convince my brain to go out there & it's not working.  As I was typing this, a die hard cyclist rode by on our snowy street...these crazy people here are still out riding bikes in 7 degrees. They put me to shame!

We've been doing some fun holiday things lately, a few festivities.  Last weekend was Richard's work Christmas party in Denver.  I'm always a little angsty to go to these things.  I picture awkward conversations, possible wardrobe malfunctions...I like to think worse case scenario.  The party was in this really cool warehouse & James Bond themed...pretty fun!  I only started a few awkward conversations which I'd like to blame on the Jack & Coke I was drinking, but I know I would've done it anyway.  First I was talking to Richard's coworker's wife(whom I'd just met earlier & liked) & we were talking about church & she said she isn't going anymore.  I was like, "finally someone gets me here", in my head.  So I launched into my whole bit about how I'm over conservative churches, & how I feel like they think they think they are the chosen group, & you can't be a Christian if you aren't conservative(which I'm not).  I have to laugh now,  because it was only towards the end of the conversation that I realized that what she was saying & what I was saying were two different things.  She was saying that she is having a hard time with the more liberal churches/Christianity & reconciling that with how she grew up.  Anyway, I like her...I think we are all having lunch in a couple weeks.  Later, I found myself in a conversation sharing my secret desire to have been a BMX racer to several of my husband's co-workers.  Anyway, what can I say, I've got to be me :)
Party Pic

We also visited Fort Collins last weekend & got a little shopping in.  I'd like to explore it more, we got there a little late.  It was pretty with all the lights on the trees.

Fort Collins
So yesterday we finally tried another church.  We hadn't gone to one in a couple months & I'm always a little torn on if I actually want to give another a try, or be done with the whole thing.  Actually, it's not even the church that bothers me, because no church is's not there to serve me, or meet all of my expectations.  The people are the church, & that's kind of what worries me, the people.  I am okay with messed up people, people that don't have it all together & know it. I am one of those peeps. It's the one's that pretend they are perfect that I don't want to be around.  It's the Christians that spend their time as arm chair missionaries & aren't loving or kind about refugees, or other cultures, or gay people...but have never actually been to another place to see how they live, what their experience is, never actually listened to their life stories.  I'm over the whole thing...people that tell my the way I vote isn't Christian, but then are some of least loving & accepting people themselves.  Anyway, if I admit it, I am hurt & I that's why it bothers me so much & I want to run from it.

So this church yesterday, I don't know if it's for us yet, but I liked the people I met.  The pastor seemed real.  I told him right off the bat that I am burned out from church, he said he gets it, & a lot of the people there were in the same boat.  Also, during the service this beautiful Native American lady stood up & shared her story about going to Standing Rock & bringing supplies & being with all those people peacefully protesting the pipeline that was to go through their land.  I thought it was awesome that the church supported her & another member going there with prayer, & supplies.  I think that is how it should be, we should be caring about people who are being taken advantage of, caring about this earth & the environment.  So I'm trying to be open, & not so jaded about the whole Christianity thing.  I know there people with awesome hearts out there in this world, I just need to find more.


A few recent doodles with watercolors...