Reality

Hey there.  So we are about a little over week deep in this whole new home thing.  Colorado was at first feeling like a vacation that I'd be eventually returning from.  Love my new yard, with all it's open space.  There are so many possibilities....alpacas, chickens, vegetable garden.  I have space for my art, because there is an awesome little barn I can use.  This place is a bit of a fixer upper, which I like.  Actually, it's probably more than a bit of a fixer upper to a lot of people, but I don't really care about quirky closets that aren't walk-in, & kitchens that aren't gourmet.  I like the space & see the potential to put our own stamp on it.

Wow, so this is my new life.  Not a vacation from the old.  I'm at peace with our decision over all, to come here, no major regrets or panic moments.  There are just these little pin pricks throughout the day, here & there.  Wanting to go hiking & feeling so far away from anyone I had a connection with, who would go with me.  So I still go out & hike, but I feel the aloneness out here.  New things like figuring out school bus schedules, & getting the kids registered(which seems to be a pain here).  Also, I'm still me...so seeing a few other moms across the street waiting at the bus stop for their kids to return, & me waiting by myself across the street.  Wanting to be a part, but not wanting to be.  It's not even that I'm shy, I could march over there with a smile, but I'm always torn with the people thing.

Anyway, I think it will take awhile for things to settle.  There are boxes around me as I type. There are paint cans, & tools...many projects on the books. I think I may ignore them this morning & go look for a running trail.  

Kids playing by our house

Yard!

Putting my plants out made me happier

Thanks to Pinterest I learned how to white wash these bricks.

First hike: Rabbit Mountain Open Space

Persimmon enjoying the Colorado life(don't think she'll like the snow).

16 Days

A little over 2 weeks until(if all goes according to plan) we are in our van, packed to the gills with kids & pets, headed out to Colorado.

We've been slowly saying some goodbyes. It feels weird to me. It's sad & freeing at the same time. I can never quite pinpoint my emotions because my heart is such a mix of wanting people close, but also wanting to push them away & run.

 A lot of people I've known at church for years & years, been in meetings or groups with them, but not known terribly well...so I know goodbye is really goodbye, because we are not close enough to really keep in touch.

The few close friends, the ones I love, I know I will see again. They will still be in my life.  But still it will change, just because we won't be in close proximity anymore.  I am notoriously bad at picking up the phone & calling people, & awkwardly uncomfortable on Face Time...so we'll see how this goes :)

Anyway, 16 days. I'm scared, I'm nervous.  That's what life all about, doing things that scare you a bit.  It will be awesome!

P.S. I've decided that Virginia Woolf & I share a bit of the same brain.  Love her!