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Monday, December 16, 2013

Suck It Up Buttercup

Hello there.  I've been working on this girl lately & finally got her how I wanted her to look....she has a bit of a defiant look about her, I think :) She was made with acrylics, watercolors, & paper, on a wood panel.

Soooo, nothing to do with painting, & completely ridiculous I know, but lately I've been having these nightly dreams about turning 40. About 7 weeks left until the day.  I know, get a real problem, right?  But the truth is, obviously it bothers me.  I try to not dwell on it, to push it aside, & yet it keeps coming up in my sleeping hours! To be real honest here...I want to be okay with getting older, but it sometimes scares the holy hell out of me. For a person(like a lot of us women) who is pretty hard on her appearance anyway, & for so much of life felt like I haven't measured up, throwing wrinkles into the equation is just wrong! Sometimes I look in the mirror & there would never be enough money to tweak all the things I think need to be nipped & tucked!  But there are also days, the good ones, when I am a little kinder to myself.  I remind myself not to compare....I'm not 25 anymore, for petes sake!  I am grateful for my years & all that makes me my unique self.  So now I feel a little exposed, rethinking my words a bit(but no one held a gun to my head & made me write this). It's all good, I am okay with hanging it all out there, so to speak.  There's something freeing about just saying, "hey this is me & & some of the lame things I struggle with".  If you can relate, my compadre, I'm giving you the proverbial fist-bump right now :)  

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