Full Of Shoulds

So I've been working on something lately, that's been brought to my mind. Letting go of all these crazy little inner voices that tell me I should do this & that, even when in my heart I really don't want to. I've realized my head is full of shoulds. I'm trying to let go of the guilt I feel if I didn't do something the way I thought was right, because pretty much I feel guilty no matter what choice I make, being so hard on yourself is no way to live. Slowly but surely trying to let go of these perfectionistic expectations I picked up somewhere along the way that have sucked me in, & made me their bitch. Ha ha. There is this inner dialogue in my brain (picture Dana Carvey as the Church Lady) that tells me I should stick it out in relationships that suck the life out of me, sign up for commitments that cut into my sanity, because as a "good Christian" I should take one for the team, I should  put other's happiness above my own. 

Which by the way, I'm not a good Christian, never have been, if you are going by rule following. I've failed miserably at most of the 10 Commandments at times in my life. Ahhh, that actually feels good to say. 

A lot of the time I am not this great example of wisdom, or of having it all together. But I am real, & that's what I want my kid's to see, that's what I want friends to feel. I am real, I am honest about myself & my misadventures(sometimes too much so), & am trying to figure this whole crazy-awesome life thing out, with as much grace as I can muster :)


Here are some of the things we've been up to in life lately...

I was laughing when I took this. My husband's over exaggerated pre-run stretches.

Been hitting a lot of trails...lucky to have so many cool ones nearby.

Bird Boy

Sunday morning laps.  Avoiding jumping in for just a minute more.

Richard & I

Here is some recent artwork...

Always love making these clay girls that hold air plants.

Another photo of her outside.

Painting/Collage on a wooden plaque

It has this great Sylvia Plath quote on it

Because I love Blythe dolls, made a little clay doll with a Blythe face.

Put her in a little box.

Phaedra. Mixed Media Painting

Little Frida Kahlo with angel wings in wooden box.

The Tahoe Love-Bug

This was the big getting back to nature trip, of the Summer.  Tahoe. My very first time there, & truly I loved it. 

The lake is huge, so there are so many little places to stop & spend an hour, or a day.  All kinds of beaches, several we got to explore.  My parents, the kids & I went, while the husband-guy stayed back to work(or get a vacation from us, maybe a little of both :)

Returned home 2 nights ago, dirty, smelly, & glad to see a real bed... but I'm already thinking & plotting about when I can go back.  

1st view of the lake driving in

Big sisters & little bro

My running path. Pretty nice.

Indy

Ready to begin our awesome ropes & zip lining course

So far so good on the beginner course

Cody not so sure about the tunnel

Stalling because neither one of us was ready to jump 

There goes Sage

Posing in a storefront window, in the cool little town of Truckee

The boy

Peaceful morning at the lake

Truckee River that flows out of Lake Tahoe

Closest thing to baths they got

River lady

Camp entertainment....finger puppet shows

Mi Madre & Padre

A little creative time at camp

Night Skies