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Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Head Trips

I took these last week.  I was running in the hills near my place & there was absolutely no one around.  The aloneness was awesome.  It always stirs up a twinge of fear in me though, about being a mountain lion snack. Anyway, despite that,  I think I'm making it my new clearing of my head place. I had the thought, as I was taking a break on those green hills, sunshiny & all, with little birds flitting by me....this is my kind of church, this is where God meets me.  Well, He's everywhere, but you get what I mean :)

I've been feeling like I need to run away. Big time.

I don't know if it's because I don't feel like I'm where I want to be in life,  or should be for my age.  Don't know if it's because I crave excitement & adventure, & all the dailies of life, just aren't that.  I've been in the process of working on some things inside me, ironing out the kinks, & I think that is dredging stuff up too.  Probably all of those things rolled into one has made me long for a change of scenery.  I wonder if I just want to run from it all, or if I would actually find some peace in the process?

I tell these thoughts about wanting to get away, to take off & go on a long backpacking trip, or an extended adventure somewhere to my husband-guy, & he chuckles & says what I need is a time machine. One that transports me back in time, to my early twenties.  Back before kids, before too many responsibilities. Hmmm.

Having said all that, I feel I need to put it out there, that of course I do love my family(kids, husband, pets & all).  They have my heart.

I am just seeking freedom, and I think that deep down I know that no amount of taking off here or there for awhile, will free me from my own restless thoughts.  That's clearly going to take awhile.

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