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Monday, June 15, 2015

Reeds & Sticks

Some of my wounds are pretty much right on the surface.  It's funny, I can work & work on something & then an innocent comment about my appearance sends me reeling. Maybe the progress is in how long it takes to recover?

No biggee, in conversation I was told that one daughter has more of my husband's body type, & the other daughter seems to have mine.  Mine???  What did they mean by that?  Which sent my head whirling, with memories of people's observations when I was a girl(that they felt the need to share) about my big calves, & being told I have chubby knees by a way older man when I was about 18. Why do some people feel they have the right to pick apart girls/women's bodies? There is a whole heap of those awful feelings from unsolicited comments(too many to share here), & never ever feeling good enough.  Always feeling less than for this body.

I'm not a stick figure, my body type I don't think was meant to be.  But I spent years trying to be that, & made myself so miserable.

5ft 2inches 117 lbs here....not huge by any standards, but I've felt apologetic about my body type in a way most of my life.  Because being muscular, strong, solid was not good....I was born wrong, apparently I was supposed to look like a reed :)

I want to be fine with the way I look, so fine that comments from people don't sting, & send me into a tailspin. I'm still really working at it.

Haven't felt like I've had too much time to work on my art lately.  I did repaint this girl above, that I made quite awhile back.  Spruced her up a bit.

Love this true, love to get lost in the making of something, all the other things slip away.

Been running trails & running the streets as usual. Sometimes my girls come along. Trying to increase my milage & prepare for another race.

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